Yesterday, the revered burger chain Shake Shack launched a special menu item in its Boston and Connecticut locations: the Surf n' Shack burger, a ground beef patty topped with lettuce, tomato, and Maine lobster salad. As a native New Englander, a lobster purist, and a burger aficionado, I feel compelled to voice my outrage. Let it be known that I love Shake Shack burgers. But this is not a Reese's peanut butter cup-type situation here—these are not two great tastes that taste great together.

Let it also be known that I have not tried the Surf n' Shake; like some of the best, most passionate outrage, my wrath comes from a position of utter closed-mindedness. I'll allow that at $8.99, it's a steal. And it may in fact be delicious, but I'll never know. The promotion continues through September 20, during which time I'll be serving my lobster and burgers on separate plates—quite possibly even in different rooms—thank you very much.

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