Repeat after me: I promise to love my paper flower bouquet and personalized unicorn drawing when they come home from school on Friday with the kids. Then I'm buying myself something amazing.
If you asked me what I really want for Mother's Day, I would tell you that I want two nights at a spa (one with my husband, one with my girlfriends), I need a day at home alone to get everything sorted out and organized, and I would kill for a way to beam myself to a beach for a three hour sunset while drinking a pina colada.
Because, as a mom of two little kiddos, none of those are super realistic, I've decided that I'm buying my own presents this year, thing I will enjoy and that will also make my life better, easier, or more entertaining. Plus, who am I kidding, these are all on sale.
Because at least one cabinet in my house is going to be organized, darn it, and if it has to be in the kitchen, at least it can be brightly colored. I feel like I might enjoy unloading the dishwasher if I can stack these cute guys while I do it. It's like a zen garden for a mom who refuses to have one more grain of sand in her house.
Corn stripper, $8.95
I have one child who will only eat corn off the cob, which means getting out a cutting board and a "don't touch that" knife once I sit down and remember that, right, she won't eat it on the cob. This bad boy is like a veggie peeler for corn; it's quick, easy, and almost impossible to lose a finger while using. I'm tempted to let her try it because it's so simple and cute, but then remember that it's my knuckles that will be holding the cob, and we haven't hit our deductible yet this year. And, honestly, I can't ask my husband to buy me a stripper for Mother's Day.
Grass chicken, $14.96 (because obviously I'm getting the big one)
If you were an early fan of The Bloggess, you remember the rooster she picked up to surprise her husband one day (a very light overview of a pretty hysterical story; I can't read it without crying with laughter). Since my neighborhood has zoning that allows actual chickens but not 6 foot tall metal ones, I'm going to settle for this table-top version. And you know what, it's not even settling, because every time I look at this guy, I'm going to remember laughing until I cried at the dining room table of my first newlywed apartment. And everyone else will just think I like the rustic French style.
Lobster plates, $30
Life is too short for boring, square, white plates that remind you of exactly nothing. One of my favorite weekends away with friends was at a wedding in Maine where we gorged on lobster and I managed to literally saturate my plate in a sea of melted butter. I'm sure these are best for serving dainty things, like bite-sized crab cakes, but for me, they'll be dishing up PB&Js with a side of grapes. And I'll smile as I try to explain to my kids why they have to wear bibs again and make lobster hands.
Corn holders, $12
Two corn-themed items, you ask? You might think corn is the go-to vegetable at our house; it's not. It is, however, the most troublesome, second only to round green peas that beg to be chased around the plate with a decidedly un-sharp toddler fork. Corn holders make eating corn fun, but they also save me from having to hold the cob while my two year old (who hates sticky fingers) gnaws on the kernels. And that, friends, is a gift.
What are you buying yourself for Mother's Day? BTW, no one told me this before I was a mom, but you can actually buy yourself stuff even if you aren't a mom. Sometimes adulting is actually the best.